Starting again

It seems I get so overwhelmed with trying to make art, be creative, prove a point, that I avoid going to that scary place within myself where art happens. I can come up with plenty of good excuses why I just can't create right now. Too busy with the farm, husband/kids need me, or who's going to cook dinner? But each day and week that passes when I don't allow those creative thoughts into my life, I feel weaker and less of who I really know myself to be. It's abuse and neglect of the child inside me. How can I change this? I am a risk taker. Why don't I take the risk of facing the palette and canvas? Why don't I put importance on it like other things? Oh I could go on and on. How boring. I know other artists feel the very same way. They've found a way to overcome. I have to too. So starting today. I'm changing the way I live. Oh, please help me, Father. I'm scared and the voice inside my head says I'll fail at this. I want to be able to face the day's needs but pull away from the tentacles and get into the studio and actually do more than clean it up. I want to create art again. I want to follow it into the restoring waters that will quench my thirst for truth. I mean being true to me. Follow along if you want. I'm going to find out what God has put inside me that is crying to get out.